I Watched You Watch Me
by MissXHiem
Summary: A short two parted story of what questions Zim constantly askes himself about Dib. R&R ZIMXDIB I do not own IZ or any of it's characters.
1. Zim

I watched you watch me.

His clothing was hanging off his limbs in torn up fragments, his hair lying limp across his cold, pale face, splashed with cuts and bruises.  
His trembling hands reached up and stretched a finger out towards me.  
'I love you.'  
Was not what I was expecting.

Along the lines of when I first got to this wretched rock, I became both intrigued and disgusted by the human race.  
A filthy swarm of mindless drones under the pressuring finger of their higher-ups, who had no sense to run any lives.  
How stupid they are.  
How degradingly, embarrassingly, horribly, woefully stupid.  
I'd destroy them all, if I wasn't humoring my Tallest.  
How I hate them.  
I hate them.  
All of them.  
Even...  
Even Dib.

_'Would a human call its own kind pig-brained?!'_

Tell me honestly, Dib.  
What do you think of your race?  
Your precious humans.  
Do you think they're worth saving?  
That if the truth was revealed they could fix or deal with it?  
Or even accept it?

Why is it?  
Why do you try so hard to save them?  
The very people who degrade and taunt you.  
The ones that mock and tease you.  
Push you away.  
And hurt you.

I could be there for you.  
I could help you.  
I could save you.  
I could show you.

Why won't you believe me?

"Dib..?"

My voice cracked.  
I watched you watch me.  
I listened to you listen to me.  
Why...?  
Because, I...  
_'I...'_  
I don't get you humans.  
_'I care...'_

"Dib!!"

I stayed.  
I sat around on this despicable planet for years.  
For you.  
I didn't want to leave you alone.  
I didn't want you to feel that way I did.

So I stayed.

I watched.  
I listened.

_'Don't go...'_

I felt pain.  
When you experienced love.  
I felt anger.  
When you were heart broken.  
I wanted you to listen closer.

Listen to what I'm saying.

What I was thinking.

_'They don't love you.'_

I fell to my knees.  
I wanted to take you in my arms.  
Blood.  
I wanted to tell you everything.  
Don't close your eyes.

You'll die if you sleep.

'_Like I love you.'_

Why?

Why do you keep trying to protect them?  
They shunned you.  
They didn't believe you.  
Your family pushed you away.  
I wouldn't.

Why?

I'll show you.

Yes.

You'll see.

Yes.

I'll save you.

_'I'll show you.'_

I took your hand.  
I trembled in the dark.

"Don't go..."

Where did you go?

_'You jerk.'_

That smile.

'_I've got you now!'_

Where did it go?

_'I did it!'_

"No."

My eyes closed shut.  
My hand squeezed tight around his.  
My teeth grinding together.

"Don't go..."  
You were right.  
"Where did it go?"  
Vindicated.  
"Where did you go?"

An idle hand brush my face and my eyes drifted to his.  
His face painted with my hatred vanished as a mist of happiness trickled across his mouth.  
I found him smiling up at me.  
Eyes full of pain.  
And sincerity.

_'Don't slip away.'_

"I'm right here."

_'Don't die yet.'_

I watched you watch me.

_And you saw._


	2. Dib

I watched you.

I felt agonizing pain shoot through my body. I tried to keep my legs steady as my torn shirt brushed against my wounds.  
I stretched out my hand to you and pointed weakly.  
Your petrified smile expected something different as I choked.  
"I love you."  
Was all I could say.

Boredom of this cage that was my home haunted me.

I wanted out into a world of something new.  
The way you saw my humanity was the same as how I could see it.  
Are we so different?  
Are we as different at we thought we saw each other?  
I thought like you.  
We were smarter than the others.  
But I couldn't admit to it.  
I hated the thought.  
I hate it.  
All of it.  
Even...  
Even Zim.

_'For my Tallest!'_

What could possibly drive you to destroy this world?  
There's nothing good of it.  
Reasons of why I stand in your way escape me.  
I couldn't think of an excuse if you asked me.  
So don't.  
Whether they're worth it or not was not an issue.  
No matter what I possibly did.  
No one could believe.  
No one listened.

Why is it?

What makes this filth of a planet any special?  
Why couldn't you murder another race?  
They didn't do anything.  
They can't even think it through.  
Nor realize the destruction of their existence.

So why?

Why wouldn't I just let you take their lives?  
There's no reason for me to be here.  
Why wouldn't I just let you take over?  
I bet it would make their constant mocking cease.  
I bet it would make the pain go away.

I bet it'd be better.  
I bet I'd be happier.  
I bet I could smile about it.  
Show me.

I'll believe you.

"Dib...?"

His voice was muffled by my mind slipping in and out of consciousness.  
I watched you.  
I listened to you.  
_'I...'  
_Don't loose faith.  
I know we don't make sense.  
You'll get it.  
_'I care.'_

"Dib!!"

I don't understand you either.  
Why would you continue to watch?  
Why stay?  
What's here that's so important?  
Why not leave?

You stayed.

I watched.  
I listened.

_'Don't go...'_

I saw you watching me.  
When I experienced plastic emotions.  
I saw your face burn with fury.  
When all of it came to a beginning less end.  
I wanted to listen closer.

Listen to what you were saying.

What you were thinking.

_'They don't love me.'_

I could feel you coming closer.  
Come closer.  
Pain.  
Tell me everything.  
I don't want to sleep.

I want to see you.

_'Like you love me.'_

Why do I keep trying to protect them?  
I thought I felt like I belonged.  
If they weren't there.  
I'd have no one.  
I'd be alone.

Show me.

No.

I'll see.

No.

Save me.

_'Show me.'_

I felt warmth around my hand.  
I felt a shivering figure.

"Don't go..."

Where did you go?

_'Insolent fool!'  
_

My smile.

_'Try to run away, Dib!'_

Are you looking for it?

_'I've got you now!'_

Where did it go?

_'I've won!'_

"No."

My eyes opened.  
My hand felt his.  
I could see you crying.

"Don't go..."  
I could hear you.  
"Where did it go?"  
Consciousness.  
"Where did you go?"

My hand weakly reached up to brush his cheek and his eyes fluttered.  
He stared at me with shock stricken eyes,  
as I smiled up at him.  
Ignoring the pain.  
I wanted him to know.

_'I'm not leaving.'_

"I'm right here."

_'I'm not dying yet.'_

I watched you.

_And you saw._


End file.
